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Coaching support for professional women in leadership roles
My name is Ruth Oshikanlu, I work with expectant and new Mums to take the anxiety, worry and stress out of pregnancy, childbirth, becoming a parent and raising a toddler. I help you enjoy your special pregnancy and journey in to motherhood, to connect and communicate with confidence with your baby and successfully interpret and meet your baby and toddlers needs.
My work gives pregnant women and mothers the support and toolkit to attune to the needs of their unborn or new babies and toddlers, connect with their baby and foster their baby’s brain growth, development and infant mental health; raising calm, contented happy babies, allowing Mum to enjoy being the best parent she can possibly be, without sacrificing her own needs.
Calm, contented and happy children become happy and grounded adults. With every mum tuning in to her baby and getting rid of anxiety, worry and stress, before long, our society will be full of contented and connected human beings. So that’s my mission!
What makes me different to other parenting coaches, doulas, independent midwives and health visitors?
During my 22 years’ experience as a nurse, midwife, health visitor and Parenting Coach, I have supported thousands of women. From planning and preparing mentally for becoming a mum, getting the support they need for pregnancy, labour, childbirth, breastfeeding and sleeping patterns, to finding their unique way of parenting. Gaining insight into development and behaviour, communicating with and meeting baby’s needs, interpret crying, feeding habits, toddler tantrums etc.
However, I also have my own personal experience: I learned how to connect with my baby in utero due to a very difficult pregnancy, threatened miscarriage, 5 month hospitalisation, traumatic labour and premature birth. This gave me deep insight into why babies behave the way they do and as a result I created the Tune In To Your Baby concept which is a holistic parenting approach placing you as the expert with the solutions through creating a unique relationship with your baby.
My story in a nutshell is all about planning my ideal life and having things not going to plan but finding myself and my passion in the process.
I became pregnant in 2004. Being a total believer in natural childbirth, I planned a home birth and most of my pregnancy. But nothing went to plan. At my 21 week scan I was admitted to hospital. Little did I know I was going to be hospitalised for 5 months. I am a natural go-getter, but even I felt defeated. Being a control freak, planner and impatient certainly didn’t help. Being a midwife made it worse because I knew what was happening to me. However, I didn’t know how to handle it!
After hitting rock bottom, there was only one direction to go towards. UP! I started to take charge of what I could. I couldn’t change my situation. But I could definitely change how I handled it. It was also at this time that I felt my baby move within me for the first time. It was the first time I had sat still enough to feel my son. I named him and started to form a relationship with him. The best decision I ever made! As he was the only one with me in my room, I talked to him, begged him to stay inside me, sang to him, stroked him, played music to him and watched him respond. Even though he was born a few weeks early, it was much better than being born at 21weeks when they’d had only watched him die. Going home after 5 months in hospital with a premature baby was terrifying. It was great to be free but I felt so vulnerable. I continued to do what I was now expert at doing – communicating with my son and showing him how much I loved him. I still remember the first look he gave me when after a few weeks he saw a clear definition of my face. His face said ‘uhm, that’s what you look like, I’m so glad to know you’. Then came the smiles, the sloppy kisses, the cuddles, the hugs and then the ‘I love you so muchy, muchy, muchy!’ Yes it’s been rocky, but we’ve both soldiered on.
Fast track to 2012, I remember thinking, if I had to do it all again, what would I do different, and having supported thousands of women in pregnancy, labour and childbirth through to the toddler years, I could see that many of them wished came with their babies was an instruction manual. This led to the birth of my book – Tune In To Your Baby: Because Babies Don’t Come with An Instruction Manual. It is a combination of all what I have learned professionally and personally.
This book contains a toolkit to enable pregnant women and mothers develop a manual for themselves and their babies to work through from conception to the toddler years.
My passion is to work with friendly, professional women who are fun-loving, willing to be challenged, and prepared to do the work to form and grow connections with their baby starting in pregnancy through birth and beyond because babies don’t come with an instruction manual. I’m on a mission to get more mothers to believe and know how to ‘tune in’ to their babies, discover what they need and enjoy being the best parent they can be.
Ruth is a regular columnist in several healthcare and parenting journals and is the resident parenting expert for an online journal. She is also a Clinical Restorative Supervision Consultant and Trainer. Ruth is a trustee/founding director of Nu Social Health Organisation (NUSHO), a charity that aims to enables communities help themselves by setting up and supporting the running of sustainable time banks in GP practices, schools and other local community settings.
Being a new mum, no book could prepare me! Especially since our little bundle arrived 6 and a half weeks early! Having a kind ear who listened to all of my anxieties but also reassured me was priceless! Ruth gave a balance of theory and practical information but what made the real difference were her personal anecdotes of being in a similar situation and the reassurance that, although unfortunate, there should be no guilt and that soon, everything would be ok! Initially, my partner and I both struggled to feel like “proper” parents. The longing to stay at the neonatal unit way past visiting hours to be with our little boy and the trauma of having to leave him in the care of others was heart-breaking. Talking through these emotions with Ruth helped me to realise it was normal and helped clear our heads of unnecessary angst. With this out of the way we could focus on the positive and care for our baby boy. The clarity that we, as parents hadn’t done anything wrong and that sometimes babies come early! But also that he was a healthy little boy who would be home soon! Ruth’s personal stories reassured me we were not alone and that everything would be ok. It was all we needed to know at the time. Ruth has a lovely calm manner and in those first few weeks our chats and time together were so reassuring it ultimately gave me the confidence to know I could be the mummy I wanted to be. ~Helen Tarbuck
I have found working with Ruth very helpful. She was full of great advice that helped my baby Isobel. Her advice is very honest and she doesn’t just go by text books as most health visitors do. But actually uses her judgement and treats each baby as an individual and really listens to what you say. She is very professional and knowledgeable, but also holistic. She was always willing to help and is very understanding. ~Kerrie Plowman
Parenting Coach & Expert, Queen’s Nurse, Midwife, Health Visitor, parent and the creator of Tune In To Your Baby.
Book website: www.tuneintoyourbaby.co.uk (downloaded a copy of the first chapter)
The book is available on Amazon.
Facebook page: Tune In To Your Baby